For a long time I thought that if I was concentrating on building a business that I needed to put that first whenever I could. Caring for my family was the most important thing to me and that came first. Then I thought that my old tendency to keep house well had to be put to one side and relegated to stolen time while dinner was being made. You know, the time in that end of the day fuzzy tired time before bath time and stories.
I wasn’t giving my home the best I could. I wasn’t loving it. Sure, I was doing the basics to keep it clean, but that’s all I was doing. As a result my lovely home wasn’t loved and wasn’t loving me back.
I was becoming a martyr to my work. So I was saying to myself that I didn’t deserve to spend time on loving and caring for my home if my business wasn’t working as well as I thought it should be.
There’s a tool that I was taught as part of my Martha Beck Life Coach training called the ‘living space tool’ and it’s about how the outer world reflects all that is going on in your inner world. It’s a super fun and highly revelatory tool. In fact I’ve got a special treat for you relating to this at the bottom of the post.
Anyway, I realised that by caring more for my home I would be creating a better environment for myself and my family and all sorts of good things could come from this.
For a start, as a sensitive person I’m sensitive to my environment and so being in an environment that is beautiful and cared for will ultimately affect the quality of my work and how fully I can show up for my clients.
So I decided that instead of putting my home on the back burner, I was going to nourish where I live and trust that from this good things would come.
When I live in order, my mind is more ordered.
When I live in beauty, life feels more beautiful.
When I extend love and care to my home, it loves me right back.
I’ve been getting inspiration from Brocante Home and from The Simple Sophisticate Podcast. I’ve been revisiting the routines in Kim and Aggie’s books.
So from there I have:
sewed new buttons on my old winter coat that had lost a button.
cleared out the pantry cupboard in the kitchen.
done all the filing.
reestablished cleaning routines.
cleared out and organised the linen drawers.
held an impromptu Italian dinner with Italian music on Spotify and a candlelit table for my little family.
printed out bank statements to get up to date with recording entries on financial tracking software.
ironed a Victorian linen cloth and reinstated it on the dresser.
repurposed a vintage cake stand to store my new Jo Malone Peony and Suede Blush perfume on and a perfume bottle my mum gave me, which is dated 1905, Paris.
I am asking myself what my home needs and then answering its requests. Then I am taking small steps to reestablish my relationship with my home.
Asking your own individual home what it needs rather than simply following cleaning checklists is what makes home keeping an art as well as a science.
I am helped in all of this by my lovely husband and feel really fortunate for this. We work as a team to care for our home. I am fortunate that this is the case and I certainly don’t mean that women should return to drudgery of housework over creating a business and work that is meaningful to them and supportive of their lifestyle.
You get to create your great work in the world and even as you build it you deserve to have a home that is cared for so that you have a place that feels warm, cosy and safe, a place that you can truly relax in and that reflects you, your personal style, where you have been in your life and where you are heading.
You deserve to have a place that feels like home.
Consider:
What would happen in your business or work if you allowed yourself this?
How would it affect how you felt on a day-to-day basis?
Here’s the treat I mentioned earlier.
I am offering five readers a free ‘living space’ session. You’ll learn so much about yourself and your relationship with your home in this one to one session by Skype or by phone. If you’d like one of the spots please email me at deborah@deborahchalk.com and if you’re one of the first five I’ll email you my scheduling link.