No, I’ve not become an astronaut!
In saying outer space I mean the space around you, your home, your workplace, your hood. Inner space is what goes on in your head and your heart.
Have a look around you. What if what you saw in the space around you was a reflection of your inner life?
This was one of the earlier tools that I was introduced to in the Martha Beck training and I want to share some of it with you.
First you describe the place in your home that makes you feel the least comfortable, the place that you might even avoid. (Only do this if you know you are feeling pretty fine and won’t throw yourself into a tailspin) I find it easiest to write about it but you might want to make sketches or take photographs of that space. Write in a much details as you can. What do you see, what are the colours, the smells, the textures, how does it make you feel?
Then do the same for your most favourite place in your home. If it all feels a bit meh then choose the place that is the best of the bunch even if the bunch is a tired garage forecourt bouquet. Again describe the space in as much detail as you can.
When you have done that take a break, do something fun, lounge, read or breathe fresh cool air. Then come back to this and read the bit after the photo.
Stop reading now, don’t read the next bit, don’t even peek.
Oh there you are!
You didn’t peek did you?
Now go back to what you have written and replace the nouns in the description with your name. If there is a sentence that feels too insulting or hurtful instead of using you name say ‘my thinking’. So for example:
the kitchen is a mess
I am in a mess (might feel like too much)
so instead use ‘my thinking is in a mess.’
Then you can journal about what you find out from doing this exercise. When I realised that my outer life reflected my inner life I began to wonder if it worked the other way. So would me caring for my outer environment effect how I felt inside?
Guess what? It does.
So this does not mean that everything around me is perfect now, just as everything inside is not perfect, but it does mean that when I see a part of my living space that is getting me down I am more likely to do something about it rather than just live with it. Rather than do everything you can take tiny steps (Martha Beck calls them turtle steps) to get the task done. If you continue to feel resistance then you make the task even smaller until your little turtle can manage it.
With thanks to Martha Beck and her master coaches for teaching me this amazing tool.
With a reminder that coaching is different from therapy and if you need therapy it’s best to get it rather than rely on blog posts.
Favourite Outerspace resources:
family and friends
homemade healthy food (‘Oh She Glows’ by Angela Liddon and ‘I Quit Sugar’ by Sarah Wilson.)
eco cleaning products
bright bazaar blog for quirk.
the nester blog for rented spaces that are loved.
Yarnstorm blog for textile love.
Declare Dominion blog for awesome writing.
‘Sink Reflections’ by Marla Cilley book for home routines.
‘The Cleaning Bible’ by Kim and Aggie for old fashioned know how and how to iron a shirt.
Disclaimer: this is your life, you make your decisions, this is a tool that you may want to choose to use but it is up to you what you do with it and what the results of using it are.