I remember being at a park and it was time to go home. All the other children were leaving when their parents said to, no drama. But my little one really wanted to stay at the park. After all she was having so much fun there, why leave?
There was no budging her. I can be quite stubborn….. Hmmm
As an adult we get the ‘why leave’ side of the equation. There’s dinner to be made and washing to be sorted out and all the little things that keep home life running. We understand that staying at the park longer will result in over tiredness.
We just know where the tired boat is heading and it’s not a good place. most parenting tips tell you to do countdowns and sometimes they work.
Other times… not so much.
Here are some ideas to help diffuse a difficult ‘at the park’ situation when it seems like nothing will:
1) As much as possible stay calm.
2) Breathe into your belly.
3) Breathe out fully, making sure that you expel stale air.
4) Have a ‘care for you’ mantra to repeat to yourself silently. e.g. ‘I am safe,’ or ‘this is not about me.’
5) Connect with eye contact or gentle loving touch that is accepted.
6) Sometimes keep to your boundaries and sometimes bend them depending on how resourced you are feeling.
7) Slow things down. You might need to slow down to speed up again.
8) Sometimes use the parenting techniques you read like joining them in play or doing the countdown thing, but don’t make it mean you are a bad parent or are doing things wrong if they don’t work. Parenting is an art, not a science.
9) Let go of what the ‘other parents’ think of you. They will have different parenting styles and what others might see as ‘giving in’ or ‘spoiling your child’ may be nothing of the sort. You get to decide.
10) Care for yourself after the storm has subsided. Coping with storms of emotion is tough, there’s no doubt about it. Make sure that when you get a chance you do something that nurtures you to refill your self-care cup. Make a list of possible things when you are feeling rested.
I’d love to know about how you approach things when your child has a storm of emotion. Do you balance caring for your child with also caring for you?
Want to learn some essential skills about self-care for mums through coaching with me?
email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and we will set up a half hour chat to see if we make a magical coaching match.