In my Martha Beck Coach training we looked at the change cycle. In this the change we experience as humans is likened to the development of a butterfly as it goes from its chrysalis form to its flight as a butterfly. We’re taught different coaching tools to help clients at each part of the change cycle.
Today I went with my family to the Natural History Museum in Oxford and photographed a lot of the butterflies that were there in cases. I wanted to share one of them with you to remind you that your time of full flight as a butterfly can come.
Your butterfly growth stages.
Which one are you at?
Stage 1 – meltdown, you go from being a caterpillar who was happily munching on leaves to being green gloop inside the cocoon. This green gloop stage happens when any big changes happen to you – so for example moving house, having a baby or changing jobs. The change might also be a huge inner change, so for example you realise that you never want to go to the job you hate again.
Stage 2: Dreaming and scheming – the caterpillar starts to grow inside the cocoon. It doesn’t know its going to be a beautiful butterfly, but little tiny changes are already happening. As you enter this stage you might want to ditch the wardrobe you have and invent a new way to look, you might start to think about what might be possible for you but not really be making any progress on it, as it is still too soon after the big change that you went through. In this stage there are tiny glimpses of what you might become.
Stage 3: The hero’s saga – It’s actually really hard for the butterfly to get out of its cocoon and it needs to be as its the getting out of there that helps to make the butterfly stronger. This also relates to the journey you take when you decide what you’re going for in life and then head in that direction. You find to your amazement that you fail (who knew that would happen?) and then you pick yourself up and try something else and then usually that fails too.
Wouldn’t it be so much easier to be an overnight success? Trouble is even a load of overnight successes will tell you that their success did not come as easily as the media like to make out.
Stage 4 – The promised land – You’ve made it, your name’s in lights on Broadway, you’re able to enjoy the comfort of Oprah’s couch, you actually have clients to serve who love your work and are happy to pay for it. You’re able to make that big or small difference in the world that you were made to make. It’s all peachy until at some point you get thrown back into square one again.
Heading to my big questions for you.
At the moment I’m in square three in developing my coaching business. It’s possible to be in different stages with different aspects of our life. I used to be thrown into square 1 every time I moved house but after ten house moves I can just keep going on as usual even after the house move back to England that I did recently.
I am at square 3 in the business and thinking that it is difficult for women to recognise that self-care is something they need and want and are willing to get help with from a coach.
Either they think ‘I should have it together already without anybody else’s help’ or they already have it all together. Some of them get scared even talking about self-care as it makes them realise that they are not caring for themselves at all and that’s just a really painful thing to have to face.
[Tweet “Caring for yourself can help you get all the other things that you want”]:
The successful biz / doing work you actually enjoy.
The connected relationships with those you love.
Happy children who know how to care for themselves.
A body that feels good to be in.
A better relationship with money.
The confidence to do the things you feel you can’t do until….
Feeling peaceful, happy and calm.
Enjoying your life moment by moment.
With thanks to Martha Beck and the Master Coaches for teaching me about the change cycle. If you want to find out more doubt the change cycle, I recommend Martha’s book ‘Finding Your Own North Star: How to Claim the Life You Were Meant to Live’ Piatkus, 2003.
If you want to start getting support from me in whatever square of the change cycle you are in you can email me at deborah@deborahchalk.com and we can discuss the possibility of working together in a free initial call.